If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
