I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
