with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
