Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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