Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
