Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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