My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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