i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
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