Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
