How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
