I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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