I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
