we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
