It's like a parade of train wrecks.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
