I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
