I like to think it a success when the cops are called
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
