You're so nebulous sometimes
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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