i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
