i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
