I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
