How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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