Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
