Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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