do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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