apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
