I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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