how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Randomize
