i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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