You made me cry and you don't even care
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
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