yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
