And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
