why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
