If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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