Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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