That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
my liver is dry heaving
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
