About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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