He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
