"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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