I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
