so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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