he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
