HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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