Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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