If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
