somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
All the doctor said was why
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