just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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