Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
