But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
