so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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