Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
