What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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