i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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